Best quotes of '08: My favorite!

January 10, 2009

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This was the most amazing quote to fall on my ears all year, for so many reasons. The fact that it's a blatant contradiction in itself. The fact that it's simultaneously politically incorrect and correct, but sort of innocent and unoffensive at the same time. Perhaps due to an obvious language/culture barrier or maybe even excusable ignorance. The fact that it came from left field during the enjoi catalog interviews from someone I wasn't expecting such a hilarious quote from. I remember him saying it... then hoping to God he didn't catch himself and backpedal, as I quickly asked the next question to distract him. Hell, even if he meant it to be funny on purpose, it's still genius.

So here's my #1 quote of 2008, courtesy of Wieger Van Wageningen. The best quotes of 2009 are in the works. See you in a year.

RB: Name one thing you really hate right now.
WVW: "I hate racism. That’s the thing I hate... I hate racisms and foreigners."

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Best quotes of '08: Hsu, Cairo, Hassler!

January 9, 2009

rob brink best quotes enjoi

Triple shot! I was asked to interview the entire enjoi team at once, about five months ago, for their Fall '08 catalog. This was a really amazing project... one, because I've been a huge enjoi fan since this amazing piece of literature came out. Two, because I have become friends with many of the enjoi crew over the years and they are awesome. And three, because I can't think of a time where many writers will get to interview about 11 dudes in one sitting. enjoi was en route to a Zumiez Couch Tour demo (seven hour drive) so I called them and they passed the phone around for a few hours in the van. For those of you who don't work in the skate industry, it takes a lot to get an entire team in one spot... a real lot. Not to mention all these dudes have an amazing sense of humor and always have hilarious stories to tell and things to say.

We're nearing the end of my little Best of '08 list... you're going to notice a little pattern here... with Jose in the last post, these three guys here, and my favorite quote of the year soon to come...

1. Jerry Hsu

RB: What’s the best or dumbest thing that you’ve heard recently?
JH: "Braydon Szafranski telling me that he did acid for three years in a row in middle school. And he was like, absolutely certain and like, unwavering about it. He’s like, 'I did acid from sixth to eighth grade, every single day, everyday. Me and my bros, We’d just do acid in the morning and then go skate.'"

Was that a lie?
"Well it’s obviously not true."

2. Cairo Foster

RB: When’s the last time you really embarrassed yourself?
CF: "I wasn’t too embarrassed, but I fell asleep on the streets of San Francisco after a night of partying. I vomited all over myself. Then I switched sides and vomited over myself some more. It was one of those corners behind a building where a lot of people take a piss in the middle of the night. So I was probably like, vomiting on myself and rolling around in piss. My cell phone got swiped. but I didn’t get jumped."

Well that’s cool.
"It’s not embarrassing anymore though, because I was at the horse races recently and I’m always carrying all my kid’s stuff every time I go out. I look like one of those dads... like, 'Check it out! he’s carrying the wife’s purse! He’s carrying the kid’s stuff!'"

I make fun of those guys.
When I didn’t have a kid I felt bad for people who had to do that shit. But that’s me now. I’m the main target."

3. Clark Hassler

RB: What’s your favorite YouTube video of the moment?
CH: "It’s on RedTube. 'The new car.' It’s like, a lady getting fucked in the ass by a dildo in traffic... no wait, it’s called 'Dildo Car.'"

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Jose Rojo!

January 9, 2009

etnies rojo rob brink

This was one of the last interviews I did in '08. Some of you may have read it just recently, but it was an interview to announce Jose Rojo to the etnies team. Two stories really stood out to me... and a few other people who came to me saying they liked them... and they both have to do with naked men. Big shocker, huh?

RB: Jerry Hsu told me you caught him masturbating once.
JR: "Yeah dude, that was a crazy one. I think it was Denver and we were all heading out to go eat. I was rooming with Jerry obviously and I asked him if he wanted to roll and he’s like, 'Nah dude, I think I should just chill.'"

"I was like, 'Alright.' It was kinda weird. So freakin’… I leave the room and as I’m walking towards the lobby I forgot something and I had to go back to the room, and when I opened the door Jerry was sitting behind the desk and fully crossed his legs over all quick and was like… I can’t remember what he said but he was like, 'Oh shit you caught me masturbating.' Or something like that. Dude it was awesome."

Damn, you just have to fess up in that situation or it’ll haunt you forever. He handled it well.
"For sure. The thing I remember the most was that when I walked in dude, I just looked in his eyes and he looked like a dear in headlights. Like, 'Holy shit, dude!' It was awesome."

That’s why you’ve got to wait a while after your homie leaves the hotel room, you can’t just get right into it. I’d say at least fifteen minutes.
"Yeah. At least."

I wonder how many people have been caught that exact way.
"Probably so many. One time we were in Costa Rica. It was one of my first enjoi tours and it was when MJ was part of the whole gig. I was taking a shower and the shower window was open and I felt this weird presence and I freakin’ looked out the window and Jerry and Marc Johnson were just staring… with no freakin’ expressions on their face dude, they were just staring at me. I freaked out. I was like, 'Dude! What the hell are you guys doing?' And they just jumped down and just ran off giggling."

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Sean Malto

January 7, 2009

sean malto slap rob brink

Earlier in the year, I was lucky enough to have Sean Malto request that I do his interview for Slap.

It was truly awesome, after so many years of reading Slap and now being a writer for skate mags, to have the opportunity to do one piece for the mag while it still existed in print form. I was even more stoked that my beloved editor at The Skateboard Mag, Mr. Kevin Wilkins, understood and supported the opportunity and the fact that I was helping a friend (Sean) out and didn't bitch me out for having a one night stand with a competing mag. That's a class act right there. Thanks Sean, Whiteley and Wilkins!

If you know Sean Malto, you know a lot of what he says is really funny simply because of his voice and the way he kinda tilts his head to the side and smiles when he says it. This line is an example of that... plus, I just love how it's sort of frantically worded.

RB: Who do you think is the weirdest dude on Girl/Chocolate?
SM: "Marc Johnson probably. He’s awesome, don’t get me wrong. He just reads a lot and he has a lot of theories and stuff. It gets crazy… like galaxies and Bigfoot and going outside of your body. He studies on it and I have no idea what’s going on."

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Bryan Herman

January 6, 2009

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I decided to switch this up, since I'm just beyond halfway through, and give you some audio of one of my favorite stories of the year. I laughed more during my interview with Bryan Herman than I've ever laughed in an interview before. Mostly just because of the demeanor in which he says things. So here Bryan is, talking about Antwuan Dixon stealing his car and a time when he shaved off his own eyebrows.

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Justin Schulte

January 6, 2009

tsm justin schulte rob brink

I found this quote to be ballsy and really on point for someone like Justin Schulte. He's just 22 years old and only flow from his sponsors, but wise beyond his years in skateboarding. He's got a good brain on him. One of the better interviews of the year, from the perspective of "real talk," as the kids like to say nowadays, which I'll never understand. Like, if you don't preface a statement with "real talk," does that mean it's not worth listening to? Or "fake talk?" I guess that's another discussion for another day.

RB: "What’s something that just bugs you about being in the skateboarding industry?"
JS: "Oh man, I honestly don’t even feel like I’m in the skateboarding industry. I’m just watching the skateboarding industry. It’s funny. You guys are mad funny. But you know the only thing that bugs me is people thinking they make a difference or something, you know?"

"Yeah it’s funny…"
"Pretty much, people thinking they make a difference. You can quote me on that."

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Terry Kennedy

January 6, 2009

terry kennedy maloof rob brink

I was assigned a piece on Evan Hernandez about a year ago, but Evan didn't want to do an interview over the phone. He just emailed me answers to my questions, which ended up being rather cut, dry and impersonal. In Evan's defense, he had an experience he wasn't happy with when he did an interview with another mag a few years prior and just didn't want to risk it happening again.

Enter Terry Kennedy... Godsend. He's a good friend of Evan's and agreed to talk to me and shed some light on Evan for me, from the perspective of a long-time friend, since Evan wasn't into talking. He saved the article 100 percent. And I laughed really hard when he told me this story:

TK: “One time, I sold that dude [Evan] a fake Jacob watch for like a G. I told him my cousin jacked it from somebody at a rap concert. He was running around showing everybody, but that shit was fake.”

RB: “Did you feel guilty? I mean, he was your good friend, right?”

“Nah! I was bad then. I was from Long Beach. I was looking at Evan like, ‘You’re makin’ money, man! I don't got none! So fuck it! I’ll sell you this watch if you’ll believe it.’”

“What did he say when he found out it was fake?”

“He was like ‘That's fucked up man!’ He wasn't even mad or anything! Hahahah."

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Jason Adams

January 6, 2009

jason adams the skateboard mag rob brink

Jason Adams gave me an interview like a seasoned veteran would. He talked, made fun of himself, told personal stories and didn't hold back... in other words, he's secure with himself and doesn't really give a fuck what anyone thinks. At the same time, there's really nothing you'd think bad of him for in the first place.

Typically, when I do an interview, I end up with a 30-page transcript that usually gets cut down to about seven or eight pages for the final piece. I remember sitting on a plane back to Cali from NJ having a really hard time deciding what to cut out as I got to the last few pages with Jason because so much of what he said was awesome. I really wanted everyone to be able to read it. Jason Adams fans would really appreciate it I think. I always mean to get all my unedited interviews up here on the site but cleaning up the entire transcripts a second time is really tedious. It takes hours per interview. Sometimes days. I'll do it eventually, I swear.

Looking back, two things Jason said stood out to me as really funny. First, the harsh reality of a 35-year-old man alone on a skateboarding in public as the outside world looks in... and second, a his feelings on his "old nose."

RB: "Do you ever get on your board, skating all alone, hit a rock and eat shit?"
JA: "I hate that… you slam so hard on the sidewalk. When I was a kid I was in my own little world and it didn’t matter. There’s so many times now, I’ll go out and skate and it’s like I’m a grown-ass man in a schoolyard by myself feeling real weird. I eat shit on a rock now and I’m like 'Shit the mailman’s right there and saw that.' It sucks."

"What's with your nose? I heard you regret fixing it?"
"I was never self-conscious about my crooked nose, but I was after I got my surgery. I was worried that people thought I got a nose job, which I basically... did. I kind of miss my old nose. It was such a part of me."

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Best quotes of '08: Peter Smolik

January 5, 2009

peter smolik rob brink quotes

I did a Peter Smolik interview about five months ago for Sk8Mafia month on The Berrics. Peter was supposedly workin' on a "Bangin'" or "Battle Commander" or something and the interview was going to accompany it. Well that hasn't happened yet, but hopefully it will soon.

When Berra and I talked about this interview, one thing Steve wanted me to discuss with Peter was how 10 years ago, Peter was very ahead of his time, doing all sorts of crazy combo ledge tricks that have now gotten insanely popular in the wake of Lakai's Fully Flared. Peter was even clowned a bit for the stuff he was doing back then, when really, he was sort of ahead of his time.

Peter had a rad energy to him and you can tell he knows he's a bit over the top and doesn't take himself entirely seriously, which I thought was cool. So upon asking him the typical "ender" interview question, Peter bounced back with an ender of his own:

RB: "Anything else you want to add?"
PS: "Add something, homey. Add this. My sweat ain’t made out of barbecue sauce so quit bitin’ my shit, son! Hahaha."

RB: Wow. That’s an ender if I’ve ever heard one.
PS: "Well there you go. Have fun out there."

See the earlier "Best quotes of '08!"

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Best quotes of '08: Kyle Leeper

January 2, 2009

kyle leeper tsm rob brink

Kyle Leeper loves dogs, so much so that his upcoming etnies shoe is named the "Perro," which is Spanish for "dog." It actually happens to be the best-skating etnies shoe for me out of all the new stuff coming out.

One time, in Barcelona, Kyle somehow started explaining his foolproof method for breaking up a dogfight, remembering that, when I was assigned his interview, I had to have him talk about it.

Kyle is one of my favorite people. And the random shit that comes out of his mouth for no reason whatsoever is really funny if you catch it, 'cuz he's quick. Hence the few statements I left in after the dog fight story:

RB: So explain your method of breaking up a dogfight?
KL: “Dogs are crazy. You can’t break them up. I’ve tried to break up dogfights before I knew this theory and it’s really hard. I’ve never tried this, but supposedly if you jam your thumb up their ass it stops the fight. It makes perfect sense. Because if you were doing anything and someone shoved a thumb up your ass then you would stop, jump and turn the other direction, know what I mean?”

How do you know which dog to ass thumb
“Whatever comes first.”

What if it attacks you after?
“Nah, it won’t.”

Not only do you have dog shit from a dog’s ass on your thumb, but then he attacks you for it.
“At least you saved a dog’s life.”

Listen to this story I got. “Leeper spent a month in Japan a long time ago and a team manager at the time got drunk and tried to make out with all his teamriders.”
“Where the hell did you get this data from? I don’t want to talk about that!”

Dude, I got sources. What’s the last trick you learned?
“It doesn’t even have a name yet. Like a backside no-comply bigspin revert.”

Call it “the Meltdown.”
“The tittie fucker.”

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