By Rob Brink
The Skateboard Mag, September 2009
You might not know too much about Kenny Hoyle, but that’s not his fault. He can’t be blamed for a half dozen prior interviews talking about his missing finger and the Celtics. If it were up to him, he would’ve spoken about real shit… grown up shit. Because Kenny Hoyle is officially an adult now. You know why? ‘Cuz he’s developed anxiety, he’s over hating on other skateboarders, he wants people to stop sweating the small stuff, he knows Britney Spears shouldn’t be on the news unless she finds a cure for cancer and he’s completely secure with the fact that he’s still an amateur skateboarder, putting in his time underneath pros he’s got tons of respect for.
I hear you think you’re the worst dude on Altamont.
I really do. Drew puts all these different kids on with different styles. Like Garrett Hill, Slash, Sammy, me, Theotis, Herman, Figgy… Theo’s fucking awesome. Everyone loves the dude. Then I’ll watch Garrett fucking three flip five-o a fucking hubba the first night of the Altamont SXSW tour we just did and I’m like “Fuck! This dude’s already putting down hammers.”
I always saw you as the clean-cut kid on the team.
Yeah, me and Theo. I got a phone call from Reynolds two years ago and he asked me to ride for Altamont and I’m like “Fuck yeah, I’m down!” Altamont is the best fucking clothing company. So then I go on these tours and I wanna produce and be myself and skate, but everyone’s super sick and I get gnarly anxiety about getting tricks. It’s been two years that I’m feeling this way—ever since I’ve been traveling more.
Isn’t it weird how it develops? You’re a kid and you hear about it in other people and you’re like, “Whatever! Life’s good, old man! Just deal with it.”
Yeah. Until you actually feel yourself tripping. I’m around the team, Reno, Beagle… fucking all these dope-ass people, but at the same time I don’t know why I’m feeling this. Anxiety is fucking crazy.
What do you and Theotis get up to when you room together?
He has to watch skate videos. He just loves skateboarding. That’s exactly why I room with the dude, ‘cause there’s way too much hating in skateboarding. Being on tours, you go from one company to the next and one company will have things to say about the next company. It’s kind of crazy ‘cause I just wanna skate and chill.
Then a few days later you end up chilling with the dude everyone in your van was baggin’ on.
Exactly. I don’t even know what to say right now ‘cause I don’t want to say anything bad about anybody.
It’s kind of old. Nobody ends up saying anything to anyone’s face anyway. They see it on the web or in a mag and then hate on it anonymously.
Yeah, O’Dell was just saying how people were watching his videos and they’re like “I bet O’Dell doesn’t even skate.” And O’Dell, for the record, was fucking killing it at the Albuquerque park on this tour.
There’s no way he could do Epicly Later’d the way he does if he didn’t skate.
Exactly. You think Reynolds, Heath, Guy and Cardiel would put up with him if he was a mark? He knows his shit.
So are you religious and celebrating Easter this weekend?
I was raised Catholic. I went to a private school from kindergarten through the eight grade, then to public high school. I’m more religious than not, but I don’t go to church every Sunday. I just live my life and try not to be bad.
You seem to have a really good family life.
I do. And I’m grateful. In skateboarding there’s a lot of broken homes.
Everyone’s a mess. It’s the new “normal.”
When I was in high school, kids I skated with were all from broken homes. One kid hadn’t seen his mom in three years. I’m like “Damn. I’ve got a good family.”
Do you remember the most embarrassing day of your life?
I was a freshman. Standing there with all these kids waiting for class at like 7:30 in the morning and my dad shows up right next me. I’m like, “How did you find me? You were walking around the whole campus looking for me?”
So he gives me my lunch in a brown paper bag in front of everyone and I’m like, “Oh, thanks.” Back then I didn’t want people to see that.
My first day of high school… straight outta Catholic school... new in town… I was in first period gym class. No one knew me and some jock comes and yanks my pants down. I was wearing green briefs and I came to be known as “Aqua Brink” for a while.
See! That’s a gnarly-ass story. I can totally picture me being in the crowd and seeing that. You gotta just look back on that one and laugh.
Hell yeah. So you’re almost 23? Man am age!
Yeah. I’m getting there.
But you’ve had more interviews than any am I’ve ever talked to.
It seems like time flies and you don’t realize everything you’ve done. You’re just going through the motions. I’ve been am on Expedition for three years now. I’m psyched. I like being like under Richard Angelides, Welsh, and Chany ‘cause I go skate with these dudes and I can’t do some of the shit they do. I still got a lot more to learn.
What’s the worst thing people ask in interviews?
About my finger. Shiloh’s got a missing finger and I’ve read interviews with that dude and no one’s ever asks him.
I read seven interviews with you and six asked about your finger. I thought skateboarding was supposed to be original.
Yeah, that’s how everything works. That’s how every line from every shoe company is made. Everything is like, bootlegged from something before.
The other night I called and you wanted to talk about “real shit.”
I was hanging out with the homies, just talking about life and drinking, you know?
So if I were to ask if you ever pee sitting down, is that dumb?
No. Don’t you pee when you take a shit? On the Altamont trip we were 20 miles outside of our destination and everyone wanted to just get there, but I had to pee so bad ‘cause I drank two tall cans. So I’m trying to go in this bottle and people are in the van and I just can’t go. Talk about anxiety. It was a fucking mental block. It was like, the worst thing in my life.
Catholic school… peeing… anxiety… this interview is getting real!
More real than fucking talking about my finger, dude.
You played roller hockey?
Just for half a semester. I didn’t even have my own skates. I played mad ice hockey between third and seventh grade. Roller hockey sucks; ice hockey is the shit. Have you ever been to a hockey game before?
I had season tickets to the NJ Devils when I was a kid. It’s not like football or baseball…
Football is the fucking worst man! Its like, “Oh, here we go! Oh, now we stop.” Baseball is even worse. Hockey and basketball are the fucking best.
So you’re in Palm Springs with your girl’s family… do you bring your board on these little vacations?
No. I wanted to take three days off.
I skate better if I take a few days off.
It’s proven! The biggest influence on my skateboarding is that, when I’m not skateboarding… I want to be skateboarding.
That shit’s deep, man. What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?
Reda will be like, “Just stick with the people you feel comfortable with. When you got a good thing, just know that you got a good thing.”
What bums you out?
Bullshit. Shit that shouldn’t be an issue. Shit that doesn’t matter the next day when you’re not gonna fucking care or remember it. Quit making a fucking big deal of it. Just fucking let the small things go. I also can’t stand the people who care about celebrities’ lives and not their own. You’ve got some shit that’s really happening with your own life and you buy US Weekly and get lost in some shit straight out of celebrities’ lives. That’s the worst thing in the world.
The evening news used to be about war and murder and robberies. Now they talk about Britney Spears.
Like, unless she cures cancer, she shouldn’t be on the news.
What’s your favorite trick to do?
180 no comply. Like right out the car. Or nollie heelflips.
Weird! Justin Regan just told me that Herman showed Andrew your It’s Official video part and a 360 no comply and a nollie heel over a trash can sealed the deal for getting you on Altamont.
Really? They told me about the nollie heel. Herman was psyched on that and I was like, “You’re fried fool.” But the 360 no comply up the curb… that was probably one of those things that wasn’t supposed to make it and people are psyched on that.
Everything happens for a reason right?
It totally does and that’s the weirdest part.