Alpha males...
Sometimes I get really bored and walk to the beach to watch the Alpha Males fester. Their behavior and rituals bewilder me to no end. I'm literally thrown into a whirlwind of confusion and ponderousness, mainly because I'll never be able to comprehend why Alpha Males engage in the behavior in which they do. Or maybe it's just so goddamn hilarious I can't figure out how anyone could possibly lack such self-awareness. Chalk it up to genetics, I suppose.
One of the things I love the most is the posing. The Alpha Male is constantly on display. I mean, after all, he has to pose... everyone's watching right? One never knows what kind of mate one could attract at any given moment. Anyone with a vagina (so they want you to think, but it could be a cock too) is a potential victim of the Alpha Male's wrath. Who wouldn't give their left eye to be injected with the semen from such a gift to the world in order to spread the Alpha Male seed?
One of my other favorite Alpha traits is the emulatory behavior I once had as a child. Grown ass-men who've yet to realize that they aren't Rocky, Rambo, The Rock, Michael Jordan, 50 Cent or Everlast from House of Pain. When I was like, six-years-old, I wanted to be Johnny, the mean blonde dude from the Karate Kid, but I was over that pretty quick when I realized I didn't look good in a headband and didn't know how to bleach my hair yet.
(16) responses to: Alpha males...
Watson said:
I like that the pictures are taken from far away. Must not get too close to the alpha males!
Omar said:
I'm sure he'd jiz his pants if he saw this picture of himself.
ALPHA said:
you sound pretty jealous brah.
You omega, kid?
kyle said:
i think the funniest part about these pics is that thats the basketball courts in laguna down the street from my house
Jess said:
At ALPHA, you Hawaiian local surfer brah? Speak proper english or SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ALPHA COCONUT MONKEY!
Jess said:
At ALPHA, is it time for a posedown yet? What a big man you must be!!!!
Peter said:
You make me laugh whoever wrote the article. You can look & laugh at them all you want, they still get more social, financial & sexual success than you do most of the time. Maybe it seem so simple mostly because they mastered the art. I wonder how many girls you had ;p Jealousy is bad! Its easier to laugh at it to compensate your envy lmao.
Cinderella said:
@ Peter, Ditto. The saying goes, if you got it, might as well flaunt it. Hey, I'm looking :)
and that is what all men should look like.
Baci to the babes!
Randall said:
I think you chicks are just finding something to be indignant about because you know that the so called alpha male wouldn't give you the time of day because he isn't the least little bit attracted to you.....recon?
Superficial? said:
You guys superficial or something? It's not that hard to get a girlfriend or get ripped. It just depends on what you want. If you want career success go for that too. It's up to you.
I got married, divorced, became successful in my career, and now got in shape. Now in my late 20s. Is this supposed to make people jealous? Why knows.
Do whatever you want. Maybe you want a babe so you get fit, then you get sick of that and date a lawyer. Whatever.
mensah degraft said:
I recommend alpha male for all men. alpha male! a must see sight.
Sammantha said:
Can you give him my number :) Lol.
Elliot said:
Good thing he didn't see you taking the picture. He would have flung his poop at you! Great post!
BRB said:
To be honest, I sense more than a little jealousy in this post. The so called alpha male behavior works - at least to a certain extent.
For example, playing basketball fit and barechested will likely attract girls more than the writer hiding in the bushes snapping photos;-)
penelope said:
nah...I'm more attracted to the writer :P
Michelle Obama said:
You seem upset.
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