Robert Brink - Writer

Armageddon!

October 24, 2007 | Skip To The Comments (4)

Sooooo. Yeah, I heard something about a fire the other day. It's kinda funny how no matter how hard you try to avoid the news, it doesn't really matter because 500 people are just gonna tell you about it anyway, whether you want them to or not. But yeah, I came to find out all of So Cal is up in flames and this particular blaze is about 200 yards or so from my building How exciting! What a great excuse for a bunch of people with nothing to do at the office to be entertained! Don't worry about the war in Iraq this week folks, we have fires!

With all the technology we have in this world, all the money spent on fighter jets and nuclear bombs and satellites and nanobots and designer sunglasses and whatever other bullshit... I mean, we're about to colonize Mars and shit. You'd think we, the people, could figure out how to put out a few fires, right? Nah, instead, people have to lose their homes and evacuate and have their lives ruined... yet again.

I'd like to think that since I live three blocks from the ocean that I'm safe from fire. But who knows, maybe this is more Inconvenient Truth-type shit and tomorrow I'll be washed away by the "Great Laguna Beach Tsunami of 2007." Or an earthquake or comet resulting from our big-ass "ecological footprint" will take us out or something. Yeah, I said "ecological footprint." I'm so hip to all the new buzzwords and catch phrases.

My friend Dom came up with a good one via text yesterday: he said how all this is like "the rich, white people's version of Hurricane Katrina." That was funny.

"Fuck working or fleeing to safety, let's ogle a catastrophe! Does anyone want popcorn?"

This is very close to Wet Seal and Oakley headquarters. Oh the horror!

White, safe people photo shoot!

Ash!