Robert Brink - Writer

Maceo the cat

May 8, 2007 | Skip To The Comments (3)

My cat's name is Maceo. That's the title of a Jane's Addiction song. It seemed cool nine years ago so I named my cat after it. My mom got Maceo for me while I was passed out n my bed on percocets after my wisdom teeth surgery. I woke up and had a new kitten. Sweet, huh? I still have nerve damage in my face from the surgeon cutting a nerve he wasn't supposed to. Wonderful.

Maceo is fat and lazy and pretty dumb. Cats are kinda like tattoos. Everyone thinks theirs is the best and pretends to care about other people's, only long enough to be able to talk about and show off their own. It's all just pretty gay, so I've decided I hate everyone's cats and tattoos except my own.

"Let me in, asshole!"

Maceo rules. He lets you lay on him like a pillow. He brings home tons of dead creatures to the doorstep when I visit NJ. He had an incident when he was a kitten (we don't know what happened but he came home all fucked up) that led him to have little spasms and be kinda stupid for the rest of his life. He would be walking and pull this fainting goat move. And his head was always a little cocked to the side every since that day.

Maceo lays on his back like this all the time. Weirdo

When he gets hungry he just cries and then stares at the trash can. The problem is, he's always hungry. So check out the video. Oh ya, he purrs really loud and drools a lot too. And I can already tell that like 50 of you are gonna make some lewd comments about my legs looking like I'm naked around my cat or something. Well, I'm wearing boxers. Burgundy paisley ones at that. So get your minds out of the gutter you sickos...

Looks like Maceo is a yard long.

"Dude, put the camera away already. Stop blogging me!"

"Dude, I'm so over this."