Robert Brink - Writer

Festivus: Tampa Pro '06

May 29, 2006 | Skip To The Comments (3)

Festivus: Tampa Pro ‘06
Rob Brink
The Skateboard Mag July 2006

Sadly, skateboard contest articles have become somewhat mundane—even obsolete or non-existent, over the years. Many mags, if they cover contests at all, only devote one page to a contest or event. Sad, but sometimes mere editorial and photos on glossy paper cannot properly do a weekend like Tampa Pro justice. So, in an attempt to make your contest article reading experience slightly more engaging, I, in conjunction with The Skateboard Mag, have decided to try something off the beaten path. My coverage of this event can be broken down into four categories, and, in my defense, I cannot be responsible for anything I missed due to sleeping in as the result of late nights at clubs consuming larger-than-usual amounts of Guinness and Irish Carbombs.

Things I am glad I saw at Tampa Pro '06:

• Clint Peterson backside 180 the manual pad on flat.
• Tony Trujillo skating and not giving a fuck about the actual contest. Can't forget his 20-foot belly slide either.
• Greg Lutzka winning by a mile.
• Ryan Sheckler absolutely killing it.
• The consistency of Jereme Rogers
• Zered's Style.
• Billy Marks and Terrel Robinson skating the best trick contest as friends, trying tre flip boardslides down the rail. Followed by Billy landing it while Terrel almost landing it had his board not snapped.
• Let's just add the entire Best Trick contest.
• Jon Comer opening my Heineken bottle on his prosthetic leg when I couldn't find a bottle opener.
• Boobs. I can't tell you whose.
• MILFs galore.
• Some kid's head profusely bleeding as he crossed the finish line of the moat race.
• The enjoi Bag of Suck video premiere.
• The Vert game of S.K.A.T.E.
• The S.P.o.T. staff, still doin' it right after all these years.
• Super random Jeron Wilson appearance.
• Even more random Freddy Gall appearance.
• John Cardiel smiling.
• Busenitz Busenitz Busenitz!
• Kyle Berard's sugar cane on the wall. (If you kiddies don't know what that is, look it up.)
• Wasted pros and industry people having fun and wreaking havoc.
• Guys who aren't afraid to interact with cute underage girls. God bless you guys, and good luck.
• Drunk homosexual men canoodling to gothic tunes at the Castle.
• Some guy getting his bare ass whipped ‘til it was beet red with a leather belt at the Reservoir Tavern by some skatepark groupie chick.
• Nilton Nieves' flawless finals run.

Things I'm not glad I saw at Tampa Pro ‘06

• Cute seventeen-year-old girls that I couldn't interact with for fear of going to jail.
• The cash disappearing from my wallet while consuming the aforementioned Guinness.
• The clogged toilet in my hotel room after taking a massive dump and using far too much toilet paper to wipe my ass with.
• The fact that I got booked in a handicapped accessible hotel room where the shower head was up to my belly button (I'm 6' 5”) and there were silver handle bars mounted to the walls all over the place.
• The increasingly popular Scarface craze.
• Skaters not getting laid.
• Grown men wearing Bam shirts.

Things I'm glad I didn't see at Tampa pro ‘06

• Benihanas.
• The Am Shuffle.
• The Senator's arousal. Seeing it a few times last year was enough.
• The Milner, La Quinta or Days Inn hotels. Trife. Who knows if they even exist anymore?
• Jail. (Try it sometime and see if you like it or can get $1,000 bail wired to you at 4 AM.)
• Myself dancing on stage at the Castle spitting beer onto the crowd. (I did it, just glad I didn't see it myself.)

Things I am bummed I didn't see at Tampa Pro ‘06

• Mike V's usual one-man best trick contest.
• More pros. C'mon guys, you used to come and you know Tampa is a blast.
• More gnarly slams (although Sheckler's head basher was a good one).
• People taking runs in their underwear, or naked for that matter.
• Vomiting. If anyone puked, I missed it. But puking is so entertaining.
• The Annual St. Patrick's Day parade circa 1999 or 2000, when it used to be real.
• Austen Seaholm throwing his trophy and crying.
• Mons Venus.
• Clyde on the mic.