Since Pink recently proposed to her ex-motocross pro boyfriend Carey Hart, I thought it was the perfect time to break this piece out of the archives. Not published for obvious reasons of ruthlessness, hopefully resurrecting it will provide some entertainment.
Professional skateboarder, Tim O'Connor and I were asked to interview Pink for Stance magazine. We were excited for the opportunity but ultra bummed when she cancelled the day before our scheduled meeting in New York City.
A few weeks later, a Stance employee secretly slipped some questions into an interview she was doing with Pink for YM magazine. These answers were passed on to us, and the outcome is right here before your eyes. We were surely bitter about her blowing us off. She had time to get half-naked and oily for other magazines, but what about showing some love to the skate culture she claimed to be so “down” with? The following conversation took place in January 2002.
Rob Brink (to Tim O'Connor on the phone)
Here's the deal, our next issue is the "Street Credibility" issue. So I guess since Pink kind of duffed us on the last interview…
Yeah yeah, she hates us, she just broke out.
Yeah, so she's always bragging about “I used to skate” whatever. And you know rappers, always thinking they are street credible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we are ranting on that topic?
Yeah, except I have these interview questions from a girl over at Stance. She snuck in some Stance questions for us during a YM interview with Pink, since Pink blew us off. Guerilla interview tactics.
That's good that's good. Warfare my friend, it's all war.
What was the story you had about Bam and Pink?
(Note: after weeks of trying to get Bam “Sundance Film Festival” Margera on the phone for this conversation, Tim and I surrendered, and went on without Mr. Margera.)
God, the only thing I know about it and I wish I talked to him more because I only spoke to him about it one night in Philly. He went to this party with Johnny Knoxville, him, and all these celebrities everywhere. And them Pink comes up to him like, “Bam!” So Bam's like “What?” She's like “Bam, don't you remember me?” And he is like, “Uhhhh, I know who you are but I don't remember you.”
So she is like “I used to hang out at Cheap Skates skatepark all the time and stuff.”
So I guess maybe she carried the skaters' pads in a bag or gave them massages on the platform or something like that. She dropped all these names of locals that skated there, and Bam was like, “Yeah I know all these heads, but I don't remember you.” So she must have been there, like some little dirt merchant from out in the middle of Pennsylvania—Quaker land.
Well was she skating or did she just hang out?
I don't know dude, that's the part I don't really know, but I mean, you saw her stand on the board in the video and she looks horrible. She's got a vicious style (laughs). She looked frightened for her life on that thing. The old hand in the air and just going out of control until somebody, like a wall, stops you.
Yeah, and she was standing with her feet in the middle of the board Charlie Chaplin style.
Yeah, heel to heel. She got a stank style, man.
But she was wearing those pants that have the big straps that come out of the pockets.
Oh no! Yo, I bought one of those full-body suits one day, just to wear it. What is that? Dude, you know what? Those things are getting outlawed now because kids are getting them caught in subway doors and getting killed like “whhaaaaaa.” Ravers getting dragged behind the subway on the tracks. Pink is like an aging hipster that isn't old.
I only saw up to the part in the video where she fell off the skateboard, and she looked at some guys in a car, and then fell off it.
Yeah, what was that? Some Jackass thing. It was like “eewwww.” It kind of made me look at her the same way as if she busted a nasty fart. It was all awkward and I just wished she would stop.
Ok, so I am going to ask you the questions that Stance asked Pink. Because the answers she gave were boring. So pretend you are Pink okay?
(Puts on a high-pitched voice) Okay.
When did you start skateboarding?
“Holy shit, I have been skating ever since I got my first Starter jacket when I was 12. I had a Hosoi Hammerhead with pink wheels, cuz like, my whole life has just all been pink, ya know. Pink flows, it's my color, it's my thing. It aligns my chakras. I'm Pink. Hi.”
Does your eight years of gymnastics help you with the moves and the balance?
“Oh of course. God, when I fell off of that thing, I fell in a pike position, if you watch closely. So that came from my gymnastic experience. Ya know, it's just natural. I didn't purposely do it, it just happened—like a trained ninja of sorts.”
You met other girls who skated?
Of course. There's a lot of lesbian skaters. We would hang out on top of the vert ramp. I wasn't a dyke though. I would give massages to all the skaters. I was friends of them, I skate, I skate. Hi”
And your boyfriend now, Carey Hart, he does motocross?
(Out of character) Oh my God, that's her boyfriend?
(Back in Pink voice) “Yeah he's extreme. I'm Pink. I'm extreme. Extreme. Seriously, the X Games are big, they are hot. I don't know, what the hell am I saying?”
Do you have any time to do skateboarding or any of your old hobbies anymore?
“Well I skate vert with those hi top pink Converse thigh highs.”
The fold-down ones?
“Yeah, except I don't fold them down, I pull em up all the way. I skate vert, but only the first 4 inches of the tranny, down at the bottom.”
Okay, I have to read you the way she answered them, because they are so boring and funny.
Okay, right on.
“I started skateboarding the day my older brother Jason told me girls can't skate. And I was about eleven.”
Whoa, I was close, I said 12.
Yeah. (Continues reading) “I went to skateboarding camp. Like I took it really seriously for a while. I wanted to be the first pro girl skater.
Yeah and she failed horribly.
“And I just loved the scene. I loved the carelessness. The careless attitude between skaters and just having fun and being wild.”
Like everyone's all wild. There's a lot of dorky skaters, and she would have been one of them.
“I still skate from time to time. I went to Woodward skate camp in upstate Pennsylvania for three years in a row."
Holy God, she probably did go there if she was from Pennsylvania. Dude maybe I hooked up with her one time when I was like 12 we were making out at the bottom of the bowl.
In a cornfield, and Bam was there.
Yeah in a cornfield but then we took it to the indoor bowl—made out the bottom of the bowl. And Bam was doing tricks in the bowl while we were making out in the bottom.
Okay, the gymnastics question. “Yeah, gymnastics helped me with the whole coordination and dancing and stuff.“
And stuff (laughs). When you throw the word “stuff” out, you are definitely filling it with air.
“Skateboarding definitely helps you learn how to snowboard.” Just out of the blue she comes out with the snowboarding, but it had nothing to do with anything. I guess she's going for the street credibility.
Is she trying to appeal to the market age group? It is hot right now. She may change and start singing opera and stuff when that's in. Opera is on the rise, look out for it.
Your boyfriend Carey Hart does motocross? “Yeah, he does freestyle motocross, so he's in the scene that I used to be in.”
Somehow she has linked skating, snowboarding, and motocross.
How horrible is that. She's just the average human being—whatever.
When was the last time you went skating and then there were some motocross guys chilling there?
Yeah, like airing over her. Like a Kid Rock video? That's how it is, just hot airs and Pepsi commercials. She is trying to capture the Pepsi commercial as her everyday life. Like that's how it is always. She's doing a trick on the ground and some dude is tabletopping over her while she pounds a Mountain Dew.
Okay, the last question. “Do you have time to do skateboarding or any of your old hobbies?” “Yeah. On breaks. We go to the skate parks and hang out and do all the stuff I like to do.”
I would love to like, really go to a skatepark with that girl and send her down a ramp. “I heard you skated, went to Woodward and stuff” then just send her down and watch her slam on her famous neck, gyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Christopher Reeved, but still doing concerts. Dancing in an electric wheelchair, driving it with her mouth, forward; backward while her dancers are like kicking around the wheelchair.
Hold on, I have to let my cat out.
(While I am away from the phone.) Hey Rob, when you listen to this tape later and you are away from the phone, I'd like you to know I am completely naked and shiny with margarine all over my nooks and crannies…
Hi, what's up? Was that recording?
Yeah why? Did you say something?
Naahh, I was just wondering.
I actually saw Pink in Stuff magazine, and she looked pretty hot.
Stuff. Isn't that what she kept saying before? Maybe she was just using that word, dropping names, to promote the Stuff thing. They can make anyone hot with special gels and lenses. They are beauty lenses. They have a lens where you look at the person and they have heinous warts—just poo coming out of their face, and you put the lens on the camera and look through and you see Victoria's Secret models.
You should just call this article “Pink is pale—eewwww.” She needs a tan. We should boycott her until she gets a tan.
I don't like that strange configuration of moles…
Exactly!!!! Holy, those things are horrible and I think something is going to hatch out of each one dude—like little mini-Pinks and they are going to run off her face. We should just shoot them off with a bb gun, or just take cheese grater to one. I wonder if a professional sharp shooter can just graze her and shoot them off.
It doesn't matter how hot she looks, I just notice the moles.
You don't look at her eyes, you look at her boobs—you look at her moles.
I am connecting to her website right now.
Link me digitally. Pink isn't Pink anymore. She was blonde last time I saw her.
Why would you name yourself after the color of your hair?
Yeah, did she name herself Pink?
I heard her on Howard Stern and they were like like “you're hot and we like your song.” Then the next day they were all talking shit about her.
That's how I live my life. ‘He what's up buddy? How ya doin'?” The I leave and I'm like “I hate that mother fucker, I am gonna piss on his grave.” (Laughs.)
Let's click on Pink's diary (section of Pink's site where she writes letters to the masses in her own handwriting on notebook paper.)
“Back again but with better music…”
Oh man, I don't like her existence. You ever look at someone and just hate 'em?
Yeah, like they rub you the wrong way?
She's that person, and she is famous.
(Continues reading) “For the past five or six months I have been pouring every ounce on my energy, heart, and soul into this new album…I didn't sleep, hardly ate, cried a lot, laughed even more, apologized to my parents for being honest…”
Apologized to my parents? For what?
She's a wild child, man. She is a punk rock friend. Her boyfriend rides the motorcycle through the house.
What did she have to apologize for? Being too real?
For changing her name to Pink, they're all mad about the family name.
Oh yeah, here it is, the singer from 4 Non-Blondes like wrote all her stuff.
I like that one song from 4 Non Blondes, holy...they failed miserably. They are doing nothing now. All sleeping in the gutter with that big hat on.
(Continues reading) “I used to sit in the corner in Doylestown with my two friends that played guitar. We would sing What's Up, Drifting, and Space Men. Sometimes we'd get hassled by the cops. Once we got arrested. I never understood the whole “disturbing the peace” thing.”
She is trying to blow up some street drama life, when it's just all normal.
Playing guitar on the street is so trife.
(Laughs) Yeah, like a hard story. (Sings) “It's a hard knock life, for us.” She's deep. Deep like puddles.
Jesus Christ, this is getting so boring, now she's telling me the history of her recording sessions. I am skipping over them. (Continues reading) “During a Moulin Rouge rehearsal I met…”
She was the ugliest one in the Moulin Rouge lineup. I thought Missy Misdemeanor was kinda hotter.
“…I'm still funky and love hip hop.”
Whoa, she called herself funky. Check that one off on the “harsh things to say” list.
Then she goes into her attempt at commenting on September 11th. “Recent events have reminded me how precious and short life is, and how petty a lot of the things we worry about are…”
I wonder if she would slice off one of her moles and sell it on eBay and then donate the money from the top bidder to the victims of the September 11th tragedy.